[ cheers and applause ] "jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ]

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. >>tiriq: 313, detroit! ♪ >>tiriq: 313, detroit! and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. let's get right to the news. last night was the huge premier of "dancing with the stars." whoo! [ scattered cheers ] bristol palin made her debut on the show and as for the speculation, sarah palin was not there to see it in person. [ audience boos ] however, she could see it from her house. [ cheers and applause ] here's a weird story. yesterday, president obama's aide had to step in and pay more money after obama only gave a fruit vendor a dollar for four apples. the aide said it was awkward having to pay obama's bill. then china was like, "oh, you get used to it."

[ laughter and applause ] here's some celebrity news. after failing her most recent drug test, lindsay lohan has to appear in court on friday at 8:30 in the morning. [ audience aws ] or as lindsay calls it, "closing time." [ laughter and applause ] i just heard that abc is developing a new drama about airlines. yeah, a show about pilots and flight attendants. it's scheduled to air at 8:00 p.m., so it will probably get going about 9:43. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] it should be interesting. why don't you just sit back and relax and get ready for it. check this out. the california home of grateful dead singer jerry garcia is on the market for $4 million. [ audience ohs ] yeah. it's a really cool house. but the door bell ring is like 20 minutes long. [ laughter ] yeah. "it's just getting good, man. it's just getting good. listen." [ laughter ] some huge international news, north korean leader kim jong-il is expected to name his successor during a conference next week.

well, whoever it is, that person is gonna have some big, women's sunglasses to fill. and that's -- [ laughter ] this is pretty crazy. delaware senate candidate christine o'donnell is taking criticism. did you hear about this? because she once said she dabbled in witchcraft. yeah, everyone is talking about this. o'donnel was like, "if one more person claims i'm a witch, i will take legal action against them and their little dog, too! ha-ha-ha!" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: why did she say that? >> jimmy: her voice went up. >> steve: weird? >> jimmy: i don't know why it did that. speaking of dogs though, the house of representatives just passed resolution 1614 to honor dogs serving in the military. [ scattered cheers ] so the next time you're about to yell at a dog for humping your leg, remember, that dog could be a veteran. [ laughter and applause ]

finally, this morning, there was a huge security flaw on twitter that redirected users to porn sites. or as most people put it, "there's a cool new feature on twitter that redirects users to porn sites." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome everybody to our show. we got such a fun show tonight. my good pal tina fey is here! [ cheers and applause ] i just love her. she's the greatest. the season premier of "30 rock" is this thursday. so, you gotta watch that. also, a great actor and all around great guy, colin hanks will be joining us! [ cheers and applause ] can it get better? it can. we have music from robert plant and band of joy! [ cheers and applause ] come on. it's really fun.

you know, we pride ourselves on being a positive show here. always looking on the bright side of things. but of course, there are two sides to every story. tonight, we take a look at those stories and issues making headlines today and weigh the good and the bad with the segment we call "pros and cons." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's "pros and cons" topic, the new fall tv season. [ elephant trumpeting ] [ light laughter ] that's right, we've got a ton of new shows premiering this week. repeats are over. so, let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of the new fall tv season. here we go. pro, "the apprentice" is back without celebrities. con, "dancing with the stars" is back without celebrities. [ laughter and applause ] sounds interesting. pro, the critics are buzzing about "boardwalk empire," the hbo series about the prohibition of alcohol. con, lindsay lohan calls "it the most frightening new show of the year." [ laughter and applause ]

i didn't know she was reviewing tv shows. >> steve: she's gotta do something. >> jimmy: pro, one of the most anticipated new shows is the tom selleck cop drama "blue bloods." con, i'm pretty sure he plays a vampire smurf. [ laughter ] i didn't read much about that. pro, the new nbc crime fighting series "undercovers" stars boris kodjoe and gugu mbatha-raw. con, sorry my cat just walked across my keyboard. [ laughter ] i hate when that happens. i hate when that happens. "did i sent it already? sent it already." pro, cbs has a new show about an overweight couple called "mike and molly." con, they each weigh more than 2 1/2 men. sounds interesting. [ laughter ] sounds interesting. pro, nbc's "the event" promises to be the breakout hit of the fall season. con, spoiler alert, "the event" is just a knights of columbus pancake breakfast. [ laughter ] that's the big deal? that's the big event?

the pancake breakfast? >> steve: yeah, it's an event. it was on a community billboard. i'm just saying. >> jimmy: pro, the "hawaii five-o" remake starring scott caan. con, caan. [ laughter and applause ] what? why is caan con? >> steve: caan. >> jimmy: i think he's a pro. i like him. >> steve: he's pro. he's excellent. i saw the show. >> jimmy: how was he? >> steve: great. [ light laughter ] i loved it. >> jimmy: was caan a pro? >> steve: he was a pro! >> jimmy: a mind bender. pro, in the season of "survivor: nicaragua," contestants will compete for a chance to control the coveted medallion of power. con, here it is -- barry gibb. [ cheers and applause ] [ impersonating barry gibb ] ♪ the medallion of power ♪ >> steve: the medallion of power! >> jimmy: barry gibbons, the medallion of power. and finally, "house" is most americans' favorite doctor.

con, "house" is the only doctor most americans can afford to see. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there you go. that's the "pros and cons" everybody. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ instrumental: rock ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you for watching our show. you know, if you watch our show, you know i use twitter a lot. and sometimes on twitter, these weird lists get started, like a topic with a pound sign in front of it. on twitter, they call it a hashtag. any way, we've been making our own hashtags on the show lately, and i thought i'd try it tonight. so, a little earlier i started a hashtag called, "#if i had one wish." and i tweeted out "that the two beatles would reunite and sing the theme song to 'full house.'" [ laughter ] that would be such a curveball. it would be so great. "we'd just like to do one song, you know?" ♪ whatever happened to -- ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

with the beatles, it would kill. this is where you guys at home come in. and you guys in our audience. go on twitter, tweet out something weird that you wish for and be sure to include the hashtag, "#if i had one wish." i'll look at all of them and put some of my favorites on the show tomorrow night. so tune in. you might see your tweet on the show. [ cheers and applause ] that's always fun. also, i want to send a quick shoutout. i went to charleston, south carolina, over the weekend to a place called the hominy grill. it was unbelievable. what a great place. so delicious. the people that work there are the nicest human beings on earth. so, thank you so much. a shout out to hominy grill and everyone in charleston, south carolina. charleston's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: hey, jimmy! jimmy? i didn't know we were doing shoutouts. can i do a shoutout? >> jimmy: sure, you wanna do a shoutout, go ahead, quest. >> questlove: i want to do a shoutout. let me get some music. ♪ all right. all right, this is your man, questo, i want to give a shoutout to collaboration.

like right now, one of the hottest albums on itunes is the one we just put out today called "wake up" which is a collaboration -- [ cheers and applause ] it's a collaboration that we did with john legend. it features a single with cameos from melanie fiona and common. so make sure you grab it off itunes and check the video for "wake up." it's on youtube. and you will never know who will make the cameo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i will do that. i'll definitely do that. that's cool. you just told us who makes the cameo. it's melanie fiona and common. >> questlove: well, maybe i did. maybe i didn't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, i'll pick it up anyways. >> yo, yo, yo, jimmy. let me get my time, man. >> jimmy: oh, kamal, yeah. go ahead, buddy. >> yeah, yeah. a big shout out to shoe laces, baby. they keep the sneaks on your feet. [ laughter ] they come in black, white, red, or any other color you can possibly dream of. i mean, it's nuts! without them we would be running around barefoot all the time

getting cuts and scrapes and ruining pedicures. yo, shoe laces! because velcro is for lames. stupid! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like velcro. >> yo, jimmy, stop hating. let me get on. jimmy, let me get on. >> jimmy: okay. morgan murphy, one of our writers. morgan, go ahead. >> yeah, i want to give a shout out here to the starbucks pumpkin spice latte. okay? [ scattered cheers ] it's like some dude said, "damn, i love coffee, but how come it don't taste more like pumpkins?" [ light laughter ] right? and then starbucks was like, "hey, yo, my dude, chill. relax. we got you, but only for a limited time, bitch!" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: okay. thank you. thank you, morgan. i appreciate that. >> tariq: yo, i'm next, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay, tariq. sure, go ahead. >> a shout out to the month of september. [ cheers ] i'm talking labor day barbecues, crisp, fall air, back to campus and football. [ cheers ] but september's also the start of apple season. [ laughter ] so why not provide your kids with a tasty, back to school treat? candy apples! first, choose apples that are tangy and juicy. now, i'm a sucker for the granny smith variety, so yummy. but any apple will do. now --

[ laughter ] so why not provide your kids with a tasty, back to school treat? candy apples! first, choose apples that are tangy and juicy. now, i'm a sucker for the granny smith variety, so yummy. but any apple will do. now -- [ laughter ] in the old days, we liked to boil our own carmel. that was until i discovered the wrapple apple. they make the perfect carmel apple every time in half the time. roll them in nuts, candies or as we do in the trotter family, reese's pieces. [ cheers ] now, how you like -- them apples, jimmy? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, that was great, tariq. >> tariq: whatever. [ light laughter ] >> yo, jimmy, can i get one? can i get a shoutout? >> jimmy: sure. guys, this is dave, our

director. dave, you want on give a shoutout? >> hey, thanks, yeah. i just want to give a shoutout to my beautiful wife. she knows i'm a huge football fan. so, on game day, she set up the den with pennants, posters, and snacks -- so we could sit back and enjoy it together. >> jimmy: that sounds great, dave. that's so nice. >> then she shoved a foam finger up my butt and i went number one all over myself. [ audience groans ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: all right, all right. >> jimmy fallon, you should let me do one. >> jimmy: sure. why not? go ahead. the guy in the audience. >> yeah, a shout out behind me who keeps secretly leaning forward to look down my wife's shirt. [ laughter ] joke's on him. she used to be a man! [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] >> that's right. also, watch "the event" mondays at 9:00 on nbc. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. i will watch that. that sounds good. >> it's all up to me, jimmy fallon!

>> jimmy: it's milky j, everybody. that's the guy! [ cheers and applause ] he come in here all the time and he loves the hubble space telescope. >> yeah, man. that's my resume. don't wear it out. i want to give a shoutout to gravity. not only does it accelerate objects toward the earth's core at 9.8 meters per second, per second, but it also takes care of all of your problems. for example, here's the world's greatest husband mug that my wife got me instead of the digital camera that i wanted for my birthday. oh, gravity got it. [ laughter ] here's that disgusting and lame meatloaf and cauliflower dinner she made last night. oh, gravity got it! [ laughter and applause ] and yo, here's the laptop she uses the video to chat her boyfriend in england. [ laughter ] gravity got it. >> jimmy: all right. very good. thank you very much. that's enough.

so, let me get this straight. let me get this straight. a shoutout to collaborations, a shoutout to shoe laces, shoutout to star buck pumpkin spice latte, shoutout to september, shoutout to football, shoutout to the guy sitting behind you -- >> keep on it nbc. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and shout out to gravity. >> hubble got you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. and of course, shoutout to south carolina. that's all the time we have for shoutouts. we'll be right back with the great tina fey! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] if you're in the market for an off-road vehicle,

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our first guest is the award-winning writer and star of "30 rock" which returns thursday at 8:30 p.m. right here on nbc. she's also one of my favorite people on earth. say hello to my pal, the one and only tina fey, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: hey, pal. >> hi, buddy. how are you? >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: god, they all want to see you. thank you for helping me out on the emmys, by the way. >> it was so much fun. being in that music, along with you, and you did an awesome job, by the way. i don't know if anyone told you that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, just crazy. out there doing springsteen, and just to turn around, you know. fist pumping and you and jon hamm. it was the greatest. >> and now robin anton has asked me to join the pussycat dolls. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, congratulations. [ scattered applause ] this is big time. [ laughter ] robin anton, yeah, she choreographed the whole thing. >> she'll probably call tonight. >> jimmy: she will, yeah. but that was a fun night. we all went out. >> the emmys were so fun this year. like if you go to the emmys, if

you win something, it's kind of like a work thing and it is fun but you have to go and like give interviews and go on. but when you lose everything, you have so much time. [ laughter ] to like go to the parties and stuff. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was a good time. so i like, the emmys for me was the night of the drunk moms. [ light laughter ] 'cause i got a little liquored up. >> jimmy: who -- [ cheers and applause ] hey! >> it was me, amy pohler, who was there who had a baby three weeks before. and was like, "i am out. mommy is out tonight." and then my friend jen rogers, we were all -- i went to three parties. that is three more parties than i have gone to in my whole life. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's true. you never partied that much. never. >> and a word of advice if you go to an emmys party, don't try to keep up with jon hamm. [ laughter ] like don't try to keep up, drinking-wise, with don draper. and i went to the "madmen" party. i had like one glass of wine, like a nice lady.

>> jimmy: classy. >> and then i went to your party which was super fun. by that time i put like sneakers on under my dress. i was all business. and then i go, "yeah, can i get a glass of wine at this party?" and somebody handed me a, like a water tumbler full of white wine. >> jimmy: that was a small fish bowl of white wine. >> yeah, it was a goldfish bowl of white wine. and the next thing i knew, i was dancing on the banquet. and pohler's working her temporary rack that she's got. because she's like -- [ laughter ] [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: oh, my lord. >> and all these pictures. and all these pictures on the internet, i was like, "i don't remember anybody with a camera." >> jimmy: there wasn't supposed to be. >> like once again, i'm trying to keep up with hamm. it's not a good idea.

>> jimmy: no. >> i was leaving and i had like this big long fake pony tail on. because it's l.a., you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i'm going out there and there's weird paparazzi guys outside like they have in l.a. i was like yelling stuff at the paparazzi guys that didn't make any sense. like it came out, and i was like, "yeah, this is what it looks like when new york gets drunk." i was like, "why am i referring to myself as 'new york'?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a vh1 spinoff show. >> i was like, "why are you filming me? did i [ bleep ] ray j in a video? [ laughter ] i was saying crazy stuff. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ '60s porn music plays ] >> jimmy: that's like "laugh in" now. every time you tell a joke we have a dance party. it's ridiculous. >> what i was saying didn't make sense. >> jimmy: you get crazy. the paparazzi is not the same out here. >> i'm like, "jen, get in the car."

[ laughter ] she gets in the car and face planted in the car on to like a gift bag. and it was just like this smoosh down on to a paper bag full of like lotion. >> jimmy: super fun, though. >> it was fun. >> jimmy: a super blast. here's what was super fun. i got an e-mail from you a couple weeks before the emmys because you were laughing about this thing hitting the internet. >> oh, yeah. the only thing i ever -- the only acting job i ever got before i worked at "snl" was i did a commercial once when i lived in chicago. i never even saw it after it came out. and then all of a sudden, like, somebody found and it put it on the internet. and i still have not -- people are like, "are you going to watch that?" i'm like, "get it out of here. i don't want to see it." 'cause it's like being on a tight rope and looking down. "oh, no, i'm a dork!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have the clip, and i want to show it tonight. >> okay, i have agreed watch it. i haven't seen this since i shot the commercial in, like, 1995. >> jimmy: commercial with

tina fey, 1995, y'all. >> his can have a lot of different meanings. [ laughter ] for examples, "hi, nice to meet you." or, "hi, i have no idea who you are." "hi, my long lost brother phil. you owe me money." and then there is, "hi," as in, "did you see the current interest rate at mutual savings bank? it is really high." so stop in and they'll give you a big friendly hi. hi. [ cheers and applause ] wow! >> jimmy: that vest, i'm clapping for the vest. that is cute. first of all, it's very cute. and that vest -- i'm clapping for that. [ laughter ] >> i had, like, the eyebrows of a russian strong man. [ laughter ] an eastern european circus performer. that look is coming back, though. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: no. it is not coming back. >> you see hipsters in brooklyn rocking that vest. >> jimmy: no, handlebar mustaches. >> i must have gone to the hairdresser and been like, "cut it short but leave like a little flip." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. this is the best. i love that you just sent me the email, you're like, "you're probably gonna see this thing. so i might as well just send it to you." >> "feel free to do this on your show." >> jimmy: "feel free to make fun of this." i love that you're so cool with that. we have to talk about "30 rock." season five. >> season five of "30 rock." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a big season. and this year, you're going on live episodes. >> yes, the regular show starts this thursday at 8:30. then on october 14th at 8:30, we're going to do a live episode. >> jimmy: wait, live, that's awesome. how exciting is that? >> it's gonna be crazy. we're gonna do it in studio 8h, upstairs, where they do "snl." and we're gonna have a live audience and stuff. so, it's gonna be nuts. all our regular cast. jon hamm, speaking of the person you don't want to go drinking with. john hamm, he'll be there. chris parnell, some other people, maybe. it's gonna be really fun. >> jimmy: super fun times.

and then, speaking of guest stars, matt damon -- >> yes. >> jimmy: matt damon is on the season premier this thursday. >> yes! >> jimmy: you brought him back. >> matt damon, he's really funny. he plays my new boyfriend. 'cause we all saw that commercial, that makes sense. [ laughter ] that person would date matt damon on planet earth. so, he is back for the season premier. he is really funny. i don't know what it is, we like to take these handsome leading men and make them look like idiots. >> jimmy: that's great because as he good sport. it totally works. we have a clip from "30 rock." here's matt damon. >> liz, get in on this. would you rather have to start every sentence you say for the rest of your life with urkel's catch phrase, "did i do that?" or you sign these twins with sharon stone for a year? >> both: did i do that? >> carol! >> so carol, did you ever join the mile high club? >> try five miles high and no, i have not. >> did you ever see a ufo up there? >> no. but once when i was in the air force, i saw mr. t at a pizza hut. >> was the air force like "top gun"? >> yeah, but with a lot more volleyball.

>> did you ever kill anyone? >> knocked the mechanic into my engine once. >> are you on facebook? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "30 rock" airs thursdays at 8:30 p.m. on nbc. and the fourth season just came out on dvd today. look for the soundtrack october 26th. tina fey, everybody! colin hanks joins us next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wasn't my daughter's cabbage appetizer spectacular?

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our state is in a real mess. and i'm not going to give you any phony plans or snappy slogans that don't go anywhere. we have to make some tough decisions. we have to live within our means. we have got to take the power from the state capitol and move it down to the local level, closer to the people. and no new taxes, without voter approval. we have got to pull together not as republicans or as democrats but as californians first. at this stage in my life, i'm prepared to do exactly that.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest is a very funny and talented actor whose television series "the good guys" returns this friday at 9:00 on fox. please welcome colin hanks, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: colin hanks! hanksy! >> james fallon. >> jimmy: hanksy in the house. >> james fallon. >> jimmy: how are you, buddy? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: you got married. >> i did get married. >> jimmy: congratulations! >> thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm very happy about it. >> jimmy: that's so great. >> i think i made the right call. >> jimmy: absolutely. [ light laughter ] you're a lucky man.

does she -- is she on dallas with you? you shoot the show in dallas. >> yeah. we got married in may in los angeles, but "the good guys" films in dallas. so i've been there since january. flew to los angeles for a two-day wedding and then flew directly back to dallas with my wife and pretty much went right back to work. >> jimmy: wow! >> so, yeah -- >> jimmy: you squeezed the wedding in there. >> i try and get married whenever i can, whenever i have a few days off. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: absolutely. >> but, yeah, it worked out. dallas is a cool city, texas is a cool state. [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: you're one of the very few shows to shoot their whole show -- >> no! common misconception. there are two other shows that are shooting in dallas now. but one of the reasons why "the good guys" is shooting there, it is a cop comedy action show with me and bradley whitford. he's funny older kind of not by-the-books cop and i'm the younger, by-the-books cop and things explode. the reason why we're in dallas is because chuck norris filmed

"walker, texas ranger" there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please stay in your seats. stay in your seats, everybody! >> that's not it. "barney" also was shot in dallas. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there might be a riot here. i've never seen a riot here before. there might be. >> they both fought crime, but separately. they did not fight crime together. >> jimmy: that's true. >> "barney" and "walker, texas ranger." >> jimmy: well, that's an honor. i remember seeing one "walker, texas ranger" where he kicked -- this dude wanted to fight him. and then he kicked the dude -- but he kicked the dude through a glass window. the dude fell out of the glass window on to a kerosene -- oh, he's on fire. i forgot to mention that. [ laughter ] landed on a kerosene tank and the tank exploded. i was like, "that is the way to kill someone on television." [ light laughter ] >> i saw barney do the exact same thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wanted to tell you -- because i know you're on the twitter. >> yes. >> jimmy: you tweet out a lot of fun stuff.

>> i tweet. >> jimmy: yeah, and i know that you got lasik. >> i did. i call it laser eyes. >> jimmy: you have the same side effect i got. >> i got the same side effect. >> jimmy: i can shoot lasers out of my eyeballs. >> they shot a laser into my eyeball and it worked. i want to you to know, it worked. i look like kirk rambis or an ugly buddy holly and now that isn't the case. >> jimmy: like the gary busey buddy holly, from the movie? >> yeah, totally. the angry one. the weird one. but now the side effect is that my eyes shoot lasers. >> jimmy: so do mine. >> what? >> jimmy: do you want to challenge me? >> yes. >> jimmy: look into your camera there and let's see what you've got. >> can you handle this, james fallon? [ laser sounds ] >> jimmy: you froze it! freeze laze. >> that's right. deal with that! >> jimmy: the only way i can do this is to maybe shoot flames! >> no! [ cheers and applause ] melting! ♪

>> jimmy: "the good guys" airs friday at 9:00 p.m. on fox. [ cheers and applause ] when we get back, colin, tina and i are playing charades! what do you say guys, yeah? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm coming to take over the world, of lick racing, starting with you, dsrl. stufy, make the call. ♪ [ dialing ] [ beeping ] [ beeping ] [ beeping ] [ eli ] it's go time. ♪ ♪ my friends at work think there's more than one "me." ...because on our trips, i always get there faster. see, expedia lets me mix and match airlines. so i can take one airline out... and another home.

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it's the turn that leads you somewhere new. introducing the new 2011 cts-v coupe. from cadillac. the new standard of the world. carly fiorina laid off 30,000 workers. when you're talking about massive layoffs, which we did... perhaps the work needs to be done somewhere else. [ male announcer ] fiorina shipped jobs to china. and while californians lost their jobs, fiorina tripled her salary. bought a million dollar yacht. and five corporate jets. i'm proud of what i did at hp. [ male announcer ] carly fiorina. outsourcing jobs. out for herself. [ barbara boxer ] i'm barbara boxer and i approve this message. [ barbara boxer ] i'm barbara boxer what had happened in central harlem was failure became the norm. the schools were lousy... the healthcare was lousy... gangs were prevalent. violence was all over. families were falling apart. you can't raise children in a community like that. people had been talking about things, but not doing anything. hi, mr. canada... how are you? i'm doing great, how 'bout you? right here on 119th street. if we could fix this block,

then we could fix the next block, then we could fix the next block... we promised parents, if your child stays with us, i guarantee you that child is going to graduate from college. failure is simply not an option. the sixty...the seventy... the eighty... the ninety-seven blocks which ends up being 10,000 children. we start with children from birth, and stay with those children until they graduate. if you really want to have an impact that is large, you will get there going one step at a time. there is no act that is too small to make a difference. no matter what you want to do, members project from american express can help you take the first step. vote, volunteer or donate at membersproject.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with tina fey and colin hanks for a little charades. now, tina and i were such good partners on "weekend update" i thought that we should play as a team.

we have higgins here to part up with colin. >> steve: boom! >> jimmy: there you go. that's how it's done. >> steve: team boom. >> jimmy: we all know how to play charades. each player gets a turn, giving clues to their teammates. 45 seconds on the clock per turn. the first two rounds are words one point each. the third round is a charade showdown, showdown, showdown, where each team will get the same clue to guess at the same time. whoever gets there first gets two points. >> kaboom! >> jimmy: may the best team win. >> kaboom. >> team boom. >> jimmy: why don't you go first, team boom. you go first. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: should we be team up top? >> tina: team up top. >> tina: number one? anyone. >> jimmy: anyone. >> tina: okay. >> jimmy: you can put it on the ground. >> tina: okay. >> jimmy: ready? >> tina: yes, not a drill. no, don't look at me. >> not looking. >> jimmy: ready? >> tina: we'll edit this all out. >> jimmy: yep, all right, ready? okay. >> tina: go. >> jimmy: movie. two words.

second word. you, lady, girl. baby. cute, sounds like -- me. she. you, me, me. first word, mean me. "mean girls"? no. "despicable me"! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> nice! >> jimmy: very good. you are very good. >> not to go for despicable, go for me, nicely done. >> are you kidding me? [ laughter ] >> hold on. >> jimmy: okay. >> tina: turn it over! turn it over! >> jimmy: just flip it onto the ground from now on. yeah, yeah, i'm sorry. >> i've got it, don't worry. i've got it figured out. >> jimmy: thank you, very much. here we go. >> ready? >> steve: first word, small word. the.

second word, tina, girl, the girl, the girl with the pearl earring. the girl -- scratch, itch, the girl -- cat? [ laughter ] the girl -- fur, cat -- fifth word! measles, stripes, spots. tattoo. the girl with the measles! the girl with the tattoo! the cat tattoo! [ laughter ] the girl with the bird tattoo! the girl with the claw tattoo -- fire tattoo! i know, the girl with the fire eating tattoo. [ laughter ] the girl with the -- the dragon tattoo. [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> whew! >> jimmy: judges? ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> steve: man, i am sorry. >> wow! >> steve: that was a master fail on my part. >> that's true. i'm glad that you noticed that. >> jimmy: here we go. >> steve: [ bleep ]! ten words. >> tina: okay. >> jimmy: ready? >> tina: song. one word. stir, mix, drink, drunk, wine, brandy. lemonade -- it's a kind of drink. shoe, leather, shoe? stroll? [ laughter ] ketchup! [ laughter ] it's a drink, right? >> jimmy: all right -- >> milky makes the sun go down. >> jimmy: trying to think of anything. ready? >> tina: five syllables? okay. five syllables. >> jimmy: fifth. >> tina: fifth syllable. [ bleep ]. [ buzzer ] [ sad tuba ] [ audience aws ]

what was it? do you know? >> jimmy: no one knows. i was awful at that. >> what was it? "margaritaville." >> tina: ooh! >> wow! >> jimmy: what do i do? >> tina: salt. >> you waste away, apparently. [ laughter ] >> go like this. >> no idea. >> jimmy: that was bad. that was bad. >> some people say there's a woman to blame. >> that was a bad clue for you. [ laughter ] >> what? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> it's all you. you choose what feels right in your soul. here we go. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: doesn't stick, doesn't stick. >> we discovered that. >> here we go. it's a book that has four words. it is a general thought. a quaint little book -- quaint? first word. sounds like -- looking -- no.

forget it. second word. eggs. eggs, yes. "green eggs and ham"? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's the last one, right? this is the last one here. here's what we're going to do. this is just colin and tina. you get the same clue. >> tina: okay. >> jimmy: whoever win gets five points for this one. >> tina: we go at the same time? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, yeah, sure. just talk about overtime now on live television. i did not know about overtime. >> jimmy: come on. here we go. >> tina: how about number ten? >> yeah, that sound great. >> how is it going, dude? >> tina: okay. >> they're not going to know that song. >> "finding nemo." >> wait a second, one second, sorry. okay. >> steve: find the words first.

>> jimmy: all right, ready? here we go. we can do this! >> ready? and let's go. >> steve: song. four words. [ laughter ] running, running, running. >> jimmy: keeps running. >> steve: first word. jockey, sports. >> jimmy: flying away? >> steve: race. race, win. first word. running -- whip, horse. "horse with no name"! [ laughter ] >> steve: horse was the first word? no, a big horse. saddle, saddle. >> jimmy: horse on the win. pegasus? "run like the wind"! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> right there. >> jimmy: thank you, my friend. thank you, colin hanks. jimmy: my thanks to tina fey and colin hanks. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with robert plant and band of joy. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ mom ] my son ryan didn't know his voulez-vous

from his frere jacques... [ speaking french ] [ mom ] ...so he decided to study in paris. ♪ to see french masterpieces with his very own eyes. we even linked our citibank account to his so when his account ran low we just transferred funds. i just hope the language isn't a barrier. bonjour. [ mom ] my ryan can be very shy. [ male announcer ] from linked accounts to citi mobile we make it simple to manage your finances. what's your story? citibank can help you write it.

what were the facts? fact: march 7, 2000. brown asks voters for new mayoral power to appoint school board members. he gets it, and promises better schools. but the drop out rate increases 50%. the school budget goes into a 100 million dollar deficit. the schools become so bad the state has to take them over. it was "largely a bust," he admitted. jerry brown. failure as governor. failure as mayor. failure we can't afford now.

failure as governor. failure as mayor. sweet n' sour filled twizzlers. the twist you can't resist. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is one of the most legendary singers in rock history. he and his group band of joy just released their first album. and they're here tonight to

perform a song from it called "angel dance." please welcome robert plant and band of joy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ good night, sleep tight big, bright sun has gone away you know it's gone away good bye, don't cry ♪ ♪ tomorrow bring us a brand new day we can run away and we'll laugh up ♪ ♪ and down the hall don't go shout when you hear them fall let them fly ♪

♪ right across the wall let them cry 'til the morning call little angel dance ♪ ♪ little angel dance oh, yeah, yeah dance come on and dance ♪ ♪ big night, bright lights time now to lay them all to rest ♪ ♪ lay them all to rest bad guys, mean eye all gone away to where they belong ♪ ♪ let's just sing our song and they'll laugh up

and down the hall don't go ♪ shout when you hear them fall let them fly right across the wall ♪ ♪ let them cry 'til the morning comes little angel dance little angel dance ♪ ♪ yeah, dance come on come on come on and dance ♪ ♪

♪ good night, sleep tight big, bright sun has gone away you know it's gone away good bye, don't cry ♪ ♪ all gone away to where they belong let's just sing our song and we'll laugh up ♪ ♪ and down the hall don't go shout when you hear them go let them fly ♪ ♪ right across the wall let them cry ♪ and down the hall don't go shout when you hear them go let them fly ♪ ♪ right across the wall let them cry 'til the morning calls little angel dance ♪